SQUIRRELS IN THE ATTIC - transcript
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http://fiberoctopus.com
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-2UNPsa9_I
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announcer: In a world where everyday life is threatened, one girl must take a stand.

realtor: Yeah, so this is the house. It's a very nice house, I think you'll like it very much. 
A bit of a fixer-upper, it's but not too bad.
merf: Ooh, I like it very much. I'll take it!
realtor: Alright then. That's all well and good but I must warn you never to go into the attic, 
'cause it's very bad there up in the attic there.
merf: Why, what's up in the attic there?
realtor: Oh, never you mind about that. It's just a bunch of rubbish. It'll make you chunder.
merf: I wanna know.

announcer: Sorry Lion presents Meredith in a role so shocking you'll probably piss yourself.

merf: I'm pretty tired, think I'm gonna go to bed now.. get some shut-eye, you know. What the 
hell is that noise? That's really annoying.

squirrel #1: booga booga booga booga!
merf: AHHH!!

squirrel #2: I'm gonna eat your baby!
merf: I don't even have a baby!

squirrel #3: I'm gonna get into your panties!
merf: That's just gross, I don't...

squirrel #4: I don't care for you much at all!
merf: I've done nothing to you! What the hell.

squirrel #5: You suck!
merf: I didn't even know squirrels could talk! Jeez, it's crazy.

squirrel #6: Say cheese, bitch!
merf: Hey, how did you even know how to use a camera? That doesn't make sense.

squirrel #7: Don't fuck with me!
merf: I've done nothing to you! I'm just tryin' to...

squirrel #8: It's Banjo Time, motherfucker!
merf: Banjo? I don't even LIKE banjo! No, no, no!

non-squirrel #1: (high pitched biting)
merf: That's not even a squirrel. That doesn't make sense!

announcer: Squirrels in the Attic.

merf: I've had enough of these motherfuckin' squirrels in this motherfuckin' attic!

taxidermy recital: So what seems to be the trouble?

merf: Oh, Taxidermy Recital! Fuckin' A, thank god you're here! Got these motherfuckin' 
squirrels driving me insane!

taxidermy recital: OK, don't worry about it, we'll take care of everything.

merf: Oh, thank you SO MUCH!

taxidermy recital: ...suck on that..
taxidermy recital: ...you son of a...
taxidermy recital: ...piece of shit squirrel...
taxidermy recital: ...take that...and some of...

merf: Yay! Taxidermy Recital, you got rid of all those mean squirrels!

taxidermy recital: You're goddamn right we did.

merf: Ah, thank you guys so much! You're the best! I love you! I love you! Yay! Yay!

announcer: Squirrels in the Attic. This film is not yet rated.